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Overactive Imagination March 14, 2008

Posted by Leah in Life, Muses, Randomness.
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I have a seriously overactive imagination. It really runs rampant when I’ve nothing to do, which happened today for the hour and a half drive home from visiting with the Bristows. Since it was dark and I hadn’t thought to bring a book light, and the portable DVD player had stopped working properly for some reason, I dug out my iPod and noise canceling headphones- which work phenomenally, by the way, completely blocking out all the white noise from the car. (And I’d just like to note here that I don’t really need any of these things to entertain myself -well, perhaps with the exception of the iPod or some sort of music- I just like to have them around. I generally don’t take the time to watch movies when I’m at home, so it’s nice to do so when I’m in the car. But I can entertain myself without all these gadgets!)

So anyway, the iPod and headphones. I put it on the soundtrack from Eragon (I don’t particularly care for Eragon -book or movie- but I liked the epic-sounding music) and stared out the window. For the remainder of the trip, a good thirty minutes, I entertained myself by imagining that we were driving away to some secret shelter with several black cars chasing after us through the towns and the dark woods.

Am I a little too old for this? Probably. I actually debated for a little while whether I should blog this or not, but I figured I may as well. People who are reading this are probably people I know, and if they aren’t, what do I care what they think of me? But as for the people I know, well, now you have begun to scratch the surface of my dorkiness. Keep in mind that this happens pretty much any time I’m bored and sitting in one place for a while, and generally changes scenarios based on what I’ve watched or have had fascinations with with lately. Weirded out yet?

…Yeah, me too.

Oops February 13, 2008

Posted by Leah in Life, Muses, Pennsylvania.
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So much for Pic-A-Day. It’s ending up being more like Pics-Every-Week-Or-So because I’m so irresponsible (and busy, too). And it doesn’t help that it’s winter and there’s really not that much to take pictures of anymore. Ice, snow, trees, campus…  random church objects… I’ve already covered it all. Might have to start taking pictures of household objects or something. But rest assured, I will get this all up to date over the weekend. Probably.

Oh, and Mom and Dad are buying a new car on Friday, a Rav4. I wasn’t too happy about the idea at first -we borrowed an old Rav4 in Hawaii that I wasn’t too fond of, and I wanted them to get a Scion instead- but I suppose it’s growing on me. I like the color they want to get, and it does have ten cup holders.

Winter January 19, 2008

Posted by Leah in Life, Muses, Pennsylvania, Pic-A-Day.
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snow-covered bushes, originally uploaded by Chupperwidge.

I’ve really grown to dislike winter since we’ve moved back from Hawaii. The insane cold, the slippery roads, the darker days, the way everything is brown and dead. It’s just depressing. Until it snows, that is. Much as I dislike snow as a part of winter, I can’t help but love looking out after a snowstorm and seeing the world covered in fresh, sparkling white. And as I was looking out, I noticed that the bushes in our front yard were, miraculously, still green. I had never noticed them much before, but it fascinated me as I stared at them, enough to take a picture.

Even though I’m still not that fond of winter, I think it’s growing on me again.

Questions and Answers for the New Year January 2, 2008

Posted by Leah in Hawaii, Indiana, Life, Muses, Pennsylvania.
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So, it’s that time again. Another year has come and gone so quickly. And you know, I think this year might just be the first year I’ve actually been to a New Year’s Eve party. Generally, my New Year’s Eve consists of… well… nothing. Just watching movies or TV until twelve, then sauntering into my parents’ room five minutes before the ball drops. I kind of like doing it with other people. We went to a party at Tara and Dave’s church friend’s house. The guy is amazing- I’m told his house was falling apart when he bought it, and he rebuilt most of it by himself. It’s incredible now, and has some of the tallest doors I’ve ever seen (that might sound like a random thing to mention, but if you only saw them, you’d understand). Anyway, he had a party there so everyone at church could come see his house, play games, eat, and welcome in the New Year. I’ve seen parties like that on movies, but had never actually counted down with twenty other people before. We even toasted with sparkling grape juice, which some of us drank out of bowls because they ran out of cups. Neat experience, and definitely something I’d like to do again! It also helps that I love those people, too. =)

As the party was going on, I found myself getting more and more tired, and I started zoning out more. And when I stare off into space, my mind tends to be quite busy- sometimes. Naturally, what I was thinking about last night the most was the past year, as well as the coming one. Questions popped up. Would I be sorry to see 2007 go? What would 2008 be like? How did I do with my resolutions? And, inevitably: What are this year’s new resolutions?

Last year was perhaps the first year that I could honestly say that no, I wouldn’t be sorry to see it gone. It wasn’t bad, per say, it was just complicated. At any given point, there were about a million places I would have loved to be at the same time. Well, not a million, but several. Hawaii, Pennsylvania, Indiana… the usual places that have meant so much to me over the years. After only a few months into the year, I learned something that will almost certainly be true for the rest of my life; No matter where I am, I will always be missing somebody. This came from the ridiculous number of rather final goodbyes that had to be said, to Melissa (twice), to my dear friends in Hawaii (also twice), to the friends I’d grown so close to at camp. I also came to another conclusion, one that I’ve actually always known. To put it very shortly, goodbyes suck. A lot. 2007 was full of them, which was my main reason that I was happy to see it over with. (There’s also the whole drama with churches quibbling over stupid things and separating over them, but don’t even get me started on that.) It was somewhat of a surprise to come out of it with only a few buckets of tears shed and my sanity as relatively intact as it has ever been. I’ve God to thank for that- it certainly wasn’t me. If left to my own devices, I’d be a self-pitying basket case. But the last thing I learned was that tried and true lesson eventually learned by all humans everywhere- life is short. You never know how long you have in one place, so it’s more important than I ever realized before to make the most of the time you’ve got. And that, dear friends, is how I’d like to begin this year; making the most of the time I’ve been given.

So, 2008. Everyone’s got their speculations about how it’s going to be. Me, I’m not quite sure what to expect, other than harder school work, preparing like a maniac for college, and a heck of a lot of traveling. There are a lot of significant things that will most likely happen- for instance, my seventeenth birthday, the earning of my driver’s license, which I hope won’t take too terribly long, my second year working at Rhodes Grove, several visits to see Dave and Tara, and those sorts of things. I know what plans I’d like to make, but who knows what God has in store? He’s been known to stir things up when He chooses, after all. As far as predictions and plans go, I think I’ll try to take it one day at a time. Key word there: try. It’s hard not to worry over the future when you have everyone telling you what a turning point college will be, and how it will determine what you do for the rest of your life. Still, one day at a time.

Now, the fun part- musing over how I did on last year’s resolutions. On becoming more mature, I think I’m at least on the right track. Most of that is just living another year, and gaining new experiences to help me along my way, but I’m still satisfied. Surprisingly enough, the losing weight part went significantly worse. I actually gained more weight than I’ve lost, even though I’ve been attempting to exercise at least three times a week. I had mad DDR skills there for a while, but in the entire crazy month of December, I haven’t practiced at all and have somehow regressed back into low Standard mode. I can at least say I’ve tried, though. And the last one, well, it’s complicated. It’s my opinion that you can never really get as close to God as you want to be if you’re really serious about pursuing him, since there’s always going to be that separation of Him in heaven and us on the earth. So I don’t suppose I’ve gotten “where I’m supposed to be” if that point doesn’t exist. All that aside, however, it’s been quite a year for spiritual growth. I can honestly say that, I was more interested in reading the Bible than I have been before, and actually looked forward to telling my Father about my day. I’m not saying it lasted all the time, but it’s closer than I’ve been in a long while. These recent weeks haven’t been the best -I tend to do better when things are at least relatively normal and I have somewhat of a schedule every day- but overall, I’d consider myself well along the way. And I’d like to add that the person who help me along with this the most would have to be Mom. She kept me on the right track every time I started to wander in the wrong direction, and prompted me when I forgot because my mind was elsewhere. Thanks, Mama Llama!

Having said all that, and after putting the thoughts that have been floating around in my head for ages into writing, I’ve come to a decision about this year’s resolutions; I’m not making any. It shouldn’t have to take a new year for me to think about the things I should be doing. Besides, maybe if I don’t formally write up what I intend to do, it won’t seem so daunting, and I’ll just do them. Here’s hoping, right?

Happy 2008, folks! I wish you all the best for this year, even though I couldn’t come up with a less cheesy way to say it. =)

Reflections and Resolutions January 1, 2007

Posted by Leah in Hawaii, Life, Muses.
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It’s officially 2007, and some pretty funky noises are coming from outside my window. Firework noises, mostly, and some kind of weird one that could’ve been a firework, but wasn’t like any kind I’ve ever heard before. But I guess that’s not saying much. I’m no firework expert, after all.

There were a few places I’d hoped to be last year when I made my unofficial resolutions. (None of my resolutions are ever official, unless you count the kind of book-reading goals that they make you write in middle school. That was about as official as they get for me.) For instance, I’d hoped to have gotten into shape, but as those of you who’ve seen me lately can see, that one went straight out the window after about a week into 2006. I’d also hoped that I would get more serious about school. By serious, I mean that I wanted to have a desire to do my homework so it wouldn’t be so monotonous all the time. Looking back at the past year, I’d say another one bites the dust. Not that I was very ruffled about any of these anyway; I’ve never been very good at seeing things through to the end. The one that bothers me the most is that I’d wanted to keep in better touch with my friends and family, and it just didn’t happen. I’m still just as irresponsible when it comes to replying to letters, emails, and phone calls. My apologies to whomever is reading this at the moment- if you’re not some random person reading my blog for fun, you’ve probably been a victim of my unresponsiveness.

Even though last year’s resolutions turned out as disappointingly as they did, 2006 was still an overall good year. I spent it in Hawaii, and there were no family disasters or anything; how could it have been any less than wonderful? Guests have come, stayed and left; people here have moved on to different locations or churches; new friends have been made. I’m learning now more than ever that life isn’t all fun and games. More often than not, it’s bittersweet and tangy rather than the juicy, sugary mush of oatmeal I’d believed in only a year before. The thing that scares me most about that, though, is that I’m still only a teenager. I haven’t even gotten to experience life away from home, life outside of my little comfort bubble that consists only of Hawaii, Pennsylvania and occasionally Indiana or West Virginia.

What about this coming year, then? I’m almost sixteen years old and still as immature as ever. I can sound more intelligent than I actually am through words, but honestly, I’m still your average teenager in more ways than one. Y’know, a few weeks ago, when Dave and Tara were here, I remember Tara saying something that stuck with me. I’m pretty sure it was when we were taking that awfully long hike across the lava, near the beginning when I said sarcastically, “Well, this is fun.” Tara looked at me, laughed, and said something along the lines of, “What a teenage thing to say! Sometimes I forget that you’re ten years younger than me, but it’s those things like that that remind me you’re only fifteen.” (Sorry if I misquoted you, T, but I can’t remember your exact wording.) Whether she intended it to do so or not, it really made me think. How mature am I, really, when I can sniff at the behavior of the guys and girls of my age, but I turn around and whine like a little kid? Not very. So that’s my first goal for the year; to become more mature in the way I act.

Goal number two? The ever-dreaded and never-taken-quite-so-seriously fitness goal! I’d like to get in shape… maybe if I keep putting it on my list, it’ll happen eventually. Who knows?

And goal number three is the most serious of the trio. I want to get my relationship with God where it’s supposed to be. It’s been too long since I’ve genuinely wanted to read the Bible, and it’s been too long since I’ve sung any songs in church and actually thought about what they truly mean. It’s high time I get my act together. After all, isn’t there that verse that says “Seek first the kingdom of God… and all these other things will be added to you as well”? Of course I’ll need plenty of help, so to you, the reader, I ask this: will you help to keep me accountable, to make sure I’m still just as serious about this in a week or a month as I am as I type this?

It’s two o’clock in the morning and I’m starting to nod off, so I’ll end this New Year’s email (rather lamely, since I can’t think of a better way) with this: Happy New Year, everyone!

01/02  Note to Tara: I know the whole maturity thing was a joke- it was just one of those things that popped into my mind when I was looking for examples the other night.  =)